P4 剧场主档案

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0:00
Uh, crybaby.
0:02
Would you get angry if I called you that?
0:04
Uh, no.
0:06
Why?
0:06
Oh, I'm not one anymore.
0:07
You're not one now?
0:09
Yeah.
0:09
Why does it hurt when others say it?
0:16
What are you thinking about?
0:21
The lines from earlier.
0:23
Right. Mm.
0:25
Okay.
0:28
You know I shouldn't be the way I am now.
0:33
You know I shouldn't be the way I am now.
0:38
And then they'd laugh.
0:42
I was so sad when I said it.
0:45
I shouldn't be like this now...
0:49
They don't understand me.
0:59
It's not your fault.
1:02
And then they call me a crybaby.
1:05
Just going, "Boo-hoo."
1:07
Mm.
1:08
Because you cry a lot.
1:10
Oh.
1:11
So weird.
1:13
Then I tell other people, and they...
1:17
I don't know who to tell. They wouldn't listen anyway.
1:20
They only care about having a laugh, not about anything else.
1:26
There's nothing wrong with laughing, but...
1:28
Mm.
1:30
Crybaby.
1:32
When they call you a crybaby...
1:36
Mm.
1:36
Does it make you sad?
1:40
Mm.
1:48
You can tell me.
1:53
Okay, I can listen to you now.
1:57
Tell me.
2:01
Are you still leaving?
2:12
Hm?
2:14
Hm?
2:16
Mm.
2:17
Good, good. All right. Heh.
2:23
Do you feel like I'm pressuring you to stay?
2:27
Mm. All right.
2:31
I'm worried you might be staying
2:34
because I'm pressuring you.
2:41
Ha-ha.
2:42
I know they make you sound frightening.
2:44
I know you're really not like that.
2:46
Mm.
2:47
Why did you say you weren't leaving?
2:50
It's raining.
2:52
Mm.
2:54
Can you hold me?
2:58
I can, but it's a little hot.
3:00
I could turn on the air conditioner.
3:04
But then it's too cold. It's just...
3:06
Can you hold me?
3:09
I can.
3:11
Then why are there so many reasons?
3:14
Because you're feeling a lot of things right now.
3:20
Or what?
3:22
Can you really...
3:26
We can try. We can try.
3:28
Then try.
3:32
I want to rest my head on your hand.
3:38
Move up a little more.
3:41
You're laughing.
3:43
You look like a little bug crawling.
3:45
Ha-ha, you're killing me.
3:49
You're like a little bug.
3:52
Then keep crawling.
3:55
Mm.
3:56
Then put your hand here.
3:59
Mm.
4:00
Where?
4:00
Here.
4:01
Haven't you hugged someone before?
4:03
Oh, okay.
4:08
Are you laughing? You're laughing again.
4:12
Ah... what are you laughing at?
4:15
Laughing helps with the nerves.
4:17
Nervous about what?
4:18
Huh?
4:19
Uh, crybaby.
4:21
Would you get angry if I called you that?
4:23
Uh, no.
4:25
Why?
4:25
Oh, I'm not one anymore.
4:27
You're not one now?
4:28
Yeah.
4:28
Why does it hurt when others say it?
4:30
Huh?
4:30
Huh?
4:32
Because...
4:33
Because they're other people.
4:34
And now?
4:36
Now it's you.
4:37
So you're not a crybaby anymore, right?
4:38
Oh. Ha-ha.
4:41
Ah.
4:43
Uh, right.
4:44
That's good.
4:46
Ha-ha.
4:47
What are you doing?
4:48
What are you doing?
4:49
I'm watching to see if you'll turn into a crybaby.
4:51
Putting your finger on my chin won't turn me into anything weird.
4:57
But it makes my neck a little uncomfortable.
4:59
Okay.
5:02
Hey, are you hot?
5:05
A little.
5:06
Why don't I feel hot?
5:10
So what happened to you in the end?
5:12
What could you do in the end?
5:16
Hm?
5:18
And around then, I had a dream.
5:20
I dreamed about Jiating.
5:22
And then?
5:25
And I knew Jiating understood me.
5:27
Mm.
5:27
We were in one of those places where kids play...
5:30
Mm.
5:31
A sort of bubble house, a colorful house, with lots of little balls.
5:35
Mm-hm.
5:35
The two of us sat there.
5:36
Mm-hm.
5:37
Right, and then... I said...
5:41
Actually, you know...
5:42
Mm.
5:42
I shouldn't be the way I am now.
5:44
Mm.
5:45
I was asking for help.
5:48
How did you feel?
5:52
But no one came to help me then, and...
5:57
No one's called me a crybaby. That's strange.
6:01
Then you didn't go through that crying phase.
6:04
Mm. Maybe people think they wouldn't cry, that they must be pretty strong.
6:14
Mm.
6:16
This feels so comfortable. It's so comfortable like this.
6:21
Do you still feel hot?
6:24
Mm.
6:26
It's a little warm now.
6:29
About right.
6:30
Okay, then.
6:31
It's not that...
6:33
uncomfortable kind of heat.
6:36
Do you ever feel afraid?
6:39
Mm. Afraid of what?
6:42
Mm. Death.
6:49
Close relationships.
6:52
Friends.
6:55
This society.
6:58
Everything, all of it.
7:02
Everything that's happening now.
7:09
Do you feel afraid?
7:14
Yes, I do.
7:17
Mm.
7:23
As a child, my family...
7:25
abandoned me. And...
7:29
So in close relationships, I tend to fear...
7:32
Mm.
7:36
the uncertainty, the instability,
7:38
things suddenly feeling distant.
7:41
But when it's too...
7:45
Once you're too close, it feels like...
7:48
I mean...
7:50
it's hard to have anything more...
7:52
just...
7:54
It's only...
7:56
that first layer, where...
8:00
Together all day...
8:01
But going any deeper than that...
8:03
there's almost none of that.
8:06
So you feel empty,
8:08
like you've failed, and bored.
8:12
Being in a relationship is still about one person and another...
8:17
Not just the form it takes,
8:19
or chasing that form for its own sake.
8:24
You can't get what you want...
8:28
You can have the form of a relationship with anyone.
8:31
But...
8:33
that connection between two people... you can't have it with just anyone.
8:42
It's a little hot now.
8:44
Mm.
8:46
Right.
8:48
Mm. Ah.
8:50
Mm.
8:52
Wow.
8:53
Mm.
8:54
When you breathe on my neck like that,
8:58
it makes me warm.
9:02
Your temperature's higher.
9:03
You're warmer than me.
9:04
Mm. Right?
9:06
Mm.
9:06
I guess my temperature now is...
9:11
More or less.
9:13
Asleep?
9:14
No.
9:16
Right now, it feels...
9:19
Hey, why aren't you saying anything?
9:21
Mm. So we're not talking now, right?
9:31
The train's coming.
9:43
Mm.
9:44
My ride's coming.
9:47
Is it time to go?
9:52
Are you leaving?
9:54
Oh.
9:56
And then leave...
9:59
Mm.
10:05
It's okay.

Because It’s You｜现在是你 — When Being Close Isn’t Enough

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