Are You Watching Me or Hiding Behind the Camera? | Don't Cut Me Into Your Film

And you just stand there, filming with that damn camera.

Do you think that camera is you?

Don't Cut Me Into Your Film

Let's run the lines.

I must see you.

Fuck off. Stop tormenting me.

I love you.

That was terrible acting.

You have to really love him,

Not for real. You're acting. You're pretending.

It's the same.

They're both broken, trying to reconnect. But the pieces won't fit.

They only cut each other.

Understand?

Hmm.

Yes, you can imagine your skin, your soul is made of fragments, and very sharp.

Put us together shaking, shaking, shaking,

Put us in a big plastic bag and shake it.

Hmm.

We only break into smaller pieces.

There's no way for either of us to save the other.

Why don't they just split up?

Just split up.

Isn't this art?

[laughter]

All that explaining for nothing.

this is not love, understand?

This is not love, this is, I don't know what to call it, but...

It's worse than the love I imagine. A hundred times worse.

Do you understand?

I mean...

I understand.

you're not listening to me at all. Not at all.

How many times do I have to tell you?

After so many rehearsals, You still can't get this simple bit right?

I mean...

you don't have that feeling.

You always say okay, "I know. I understand."

But you don't believe me.

You just don't get it.

You have to look into his eyes, and tell him...

I've lost patience with this play.

How long will this drag on?

"Desperate joy." "Resolve in collapse."

What words?

How the fuck do I act that?

I'm thinking... Where do we begin, and where do we end?

Think about it.

Let me think.

At the beginning...

Or in your script, how does it begin and end?

You're destroying me.

It begins with destruction. When I realize you're destroying me.

And it ends when I'm destroyed. Then you sleep peacefully.

You're cold. So cold. until you freeze to death.

It's bleak. A bleak beginning and ending.

And... We can just act naturally. It doesn't have to feel like theatre.

I understand, I know, It's not theatre.

Well, in everyday life... but daily life also has emotions, and violence.

Ah. Yes.

When you see someone you like, you want to smile. Yes.

Not that often.

I don't feel like you're destroying me.

A habit. A habit of what? Hurting others.

Hmm.

Because that, I wrote it when I was in a bad mood. I'm in a good mood now.

Maybe we don't have to hurt each other. Just play a tender, helpless love.

I'm getting into it.

Okay. Give me a moment.

Can you see me without your glasses?

Can you see me like this?

I can see you. And everything around you has a soft halo.

Am I blurry then? You're not blurry.

Everything around you gets blurry.

Is there light around me? Yes. Is there?

Look again, is there light?

Maybe. There's light in your eyes.

What about around me? Beside me...

The light is in your eyes.

But you're not looking into my eyes.

Are you looking?

My eyes are here.

Am I hallucinating?

Hahaha.

Are you hallucinating?

There's this person. His name is He Fa.

He kept saying he wanted everyone to understand each other.

He said honest communication mattered most.

But when I said I wanted to talk honestly with him, he refused. Hmm.

I thought he was such a hypocrite. Why did he refuse?

How did he refuse?

What actually happened?

I think he might be a little afraid of me.

He's afraid. Yes. Like right now. He might be a little afraid of me.

Maybe I can make him angry too easily.

Afraid. Yes, afraid.

I don't want anything to come between us.

That's bullshit.

Don't you hear how ridiculous that sounds?

Huh?

Why?

What do you mean, "come between us"?

It already has.

Didn't you say it was fine?

What did I say?

You think he'll come between us?

Before... Hmm. Maybe I didn't think it through before.

But lately I've realized... He really has affected us.

You came to see me last night.

Hmm.

I knew he'd changed something.

I thought this would make you happy.

When we first started... Wasn't it because... It did make me happy at first.

But now... What's changed?

Maybe we were too optimistic at first. I think so.

You think I should cut him off?

I don't know. I just...

Hmm.

What are you going to do about him?

I get jealous too, sometimes.

But I think I have to work through it.

Are you afraid we'll break up?

Probably. That's probably it.

But I don't think we're that fragile.

I mean... Our relationship shouldn't be that fragile. No.

What do you think?

What do you think?

You... Don't you think a lot of things have changed?

You think the bad parts are things to overcome.

I can't do that anymore.

I can't get past it.

How... I don't know how to get past it.

I don't know why I have to work through all this.

It's strange. Why?

Why let it get like this? It's a mess.

Do you want to end it?

So you're enjoying all this?

Do you enjoy it?

Why keep asking whether I accept it?

I'm not unhappy.

You're happy? You're enjoying it? There's more happiness than pain.

It's okay, I can listen to you, if you want.

Why is it always me who has to talk?

Why am I always the one talking?

Can't you say something?

You just stare at me, like this, and say nothing. Not a damn word. Right?

See? You're silent again.

Maybe we should take a break, if you're unhappy.

So that's what you wanted to tell me? just take a break.

You thought about it all night, and this is what you tell me?

I don't know how to fix it. Maybe we can stop.

If this is hurting you, we can stop.

I thought we'd find a way together to get through this.

But you're saying we should stop.

And you just stand there, filming with that damn camera.

Do you think that camera is you?

Huh?

You like watching me through it, right?

Will you watch it at home and work out how to answer me?

I don't know what to do.

I never thought we'd end up here.

A way... What I'm trying to say is, we can pause and think it through.

But you need an answer from me right now.

I don't have one.

I don't know what's hurting you.

Everything hurts.

I feel like I'm suffocating.

Do you really understand?

I didn't get involved before because I thought, "Not my fucking business."

But I know it's a mess. You think it's a mess?

It is a mess. I admit it.

For me, in all this chaos, my main responsibility is to record it.

That's what I'm doing. But if I...

if I intervene, and become the person responsible for keeping it safe,

I'd make all this chaos clear.

Turn it into something orderly and tightly structured.

And that would take it somewhere else.

That place... that's where successful people go.

But I belong to the human surrender faction.

I don't want to do those things.

I feel responsible for humanity. So I have to surrender,

I have to fail to the very end.

Stay in this chaos to the very end.

Of course, until we finish filming this piece.

Then... it really will be the end.

This is my last breath. Last breath,

Choose your words carefully. Is 'last breath' really what you mean?

I mean I'll see this through to the end.

Hmm.

I often wonder... why can't I love you?

No... no one taught us how to love.

Can it be taught?

Okay. You film. Okay.

Let me set it up. It's already recording. Just hold it.

I'm a camera. I'm a camera.

Mm-hmm. Are you scared? Afraid of being filmed?

Of course not. Come closer.

I'm a camera. Mm-hmm. Hello. I'm a camera.

You're scared. You're resisting a camera. How strange.

This time, who gets to call cut?